Consequences vs. Punishment

Not sure what makes consequences and punishment different? Many parents are confused, bouncing willy nilly between timeouts and bribes to control their kids’ behavior and wondering:

    • When is my little one old enough to understand cause and effect?
    • What can I do to help my child want to behave?
    • How can I teach my preteen to make good decisions even when I’m not there?
    • If I spank my child now and then, will it ruin them for life?
    • How can I make timeouts work better for both of us?
    • Are there ways I can help my tween learn to take responsibility for their actions?

In this kit, you’ll learn why kids don’t listen – and what to do about it based on your goals. Plus, the experts share their favorite positive discipline tools, with step-by-step guidance to use them effectively.

What goes into making a course?

11 Episodes

22 Activities

92 Hours of study

7 Experts

398 Papers and books

53 Recommended Resources

Expert Highlights

Neha Navsaria-Kirtane, PhD

Clinical Psychologist and Associate Professor of Psychology

If a parent is not consistent, then the child won’t experience it as a pattern. And then the behavioral change won’t happen.

— Mission – Illogical

Claudia Lewis, MAEd
Trainer, Teacher and Parent Coach
You want to walk beside your child—not in front of them or behind them barking orders—but walking beside and helping them grow up, helping them learn from mistakes, helping them think, helping them figure out problems

— Are We There Yet?

Aviva Schwab, MEd

Parent Educator for Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (STEP)

All of a sudden you have this very challenging relationship because the child realizes I have control over this big adult just by dropping my food off the side of the highchair.

— Mission – Illogical

Alex Korb, PhD

Neuroscientist, Adjunct Assistant Professor at UCLA

A kid could have an understanding they’re not supposed to do something but have difficulty controlling their impulsiveness to do it. If you get really angry at them, they’ll probably feel like they’re being punished unfairly for something they don’t have control over.

— The Carrot and the Stick

Patty Wipfler

Founder of Hand in Hand Parenting, Co-Author of ‘Listen’

You want to hear the worst that they’ve got and hang in with them so that they’re not carrying all that resentment and upset all by themselves on the inside. And when children can cry and tremble and show you their worst and you stick with them, boy it really changes in the end.

— Time (Out) After Time (Out)

Cindy Miller-Perrin, PhD

Distinguished Professor

When you’re raising your kid, why would you expose them to a risk factor if you didn’t have to? Particularly when there are so many other more effective approaches than spanking.

— The Trouble with Punishment

Meike Lemmens, MA

International Master Trainer of the Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) Program

Once you’re able to hear what they have to say, they’re usually more willing to help you with your problem.

— Hear, Hear

What the Parents Say

Thank you for hello joey.we have two moms and an aunt raising four children. It’s very hectic and we bump heads often. We need the the different perspectives given in your lessons, so we can come together to raise emotionally mature children to thrive in this ever changing world.


been looking for parenting advice for the longest, one of my friends recommended this app. I love it. thank u so much.


Very well presented, great pace, and great material. I really appreciate the entire episode. I am really taking my time and trying to step back and observe my actions and reactions, than placing myself in my child’s shoes and trying to imagine how they interpret our words, reactions, and I see where I need to work at to make sure my child and I have the clearest communication channel so we can make proper progress. thank you guiding us on a path that allows us to achievethat and have the opportunity to use the tools and express ourselves to each other.


Love this! We made our boxes and use them with the understanding that while the box is in use we are calming down and we will talk after we feel calm. Its helped alot


I think my husband and I have reached a point where we empathize with our parents and the tools they used in our upbringing. However, we are also taking those lessons and using it as an opportunity to grow from it. Our parents watch our parenting style now in both disbelief and amazement. They see how we’re resolving conflict without the need to spank, yell, bribe, or intimidate.


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